Saturday, January 24, 2009

Insecurity of Retirement

By J. Grazer

When the kids get there and see that Mickey Mouse is a guy in a suit and that the rides are about the same as the local Circus, an inevitable let down and disappointment sets in. All of their expectations did not materialize! On the way home the kids come face to face with reality, which is not the same as their hopes and dreams.

Even though we're adults, we also can delude ourselves by building up dreams of a golden age. We can build up a fantasy of what retirement will be like but when we get there, there will almost always be adjustments to be made.We need to still dream and plan our retirement,with realistic expectations and knowledge of possible hidden risks that lay ahead.

There are two negative reactions to the sudden shift of lifestyle in retirement, these are loneliness and boredom. Even if you are going to be home all the time, there is no question that once you stop going to the office or having regular responsibilities, you can often feel a sense of loss and grief because you miss the people.The lack of constant human contact and fun, of being at work can result in chronic loss and loneliness.

Men can become bored quite quickly, unlike women they probably don't have the number of household duties to perform. Because working has taken up most of their time and interest, men can feel quite disorientated after retirement and not know what to do with themselves. This is very frustrating for not only the man but also for his spouse.

We complain about the stresses in our work place not realizing that many of them are keeping us active physically and mentally but with retirement these stresses are not there to motivate us. This is why it is important to plan ahead what you will do with your time especially during the first few months of retirement. Things to do include visiting family, socializing with friends and volunteering for a worthwhile cause.

There are many ways for you and your spouse to volunteer. You can help others through many groups, service clubs and care facilities. It is important to start research of different hobbies and interests so you know what is most suited to you when retirement comes.

To retain your natural space, both of you need to become separately involved with things that each of you specifically enjoy. The two of you will be together a lot more than before, this could end up to be an unforeseen problem even though it is to be expected.

Be aware that this is not the fault of either spouse but a natural reaction. The best response is just to get out more often and do things separately and create that natural space you are both used to. There will be a natural down time when you first retire and treat the first month like a vacation. Don't stay on vacation! Let your ambition and zeal for life find new outlets. It will be fun and exciting to see where it takes you and that is what retirement is all about. - 20896

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